Oh Dear
by 39.Falling.Grace
Summary: Well, as the following minutes would have it, Usual had just flown out the window and dived into a pool of acid. crack fic


_Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki. _

_**Oh Dear. **_

It was early. Or was it late? It was hard to decide, seeing that, in heaven, the sun never seemed to set. Yet the night appeared to have taken her senses; the light never shined far enough and the warmth never reached her skin. Her body and mind was by far too used to this stagnant state and it yearned for change. She sighed. If it were possible, boredom would have been her cause of death several centuries back now.

"I need entertainment"

"So I would presume that that is the reason for your calling me here"

She didn't give any reaction to his sudden appearance; not jump, not a twitch. But, knowing her, she would have probably known of his arrival before he did. That was the mind of Kannon, out running time itself.

"Yes, it's about the only thing that I can pay you with. After one becomes a bodhisattvas there's not much else they could want"

He smirked, "Fine. What do you want me to do?"

And she smirked back. No, this wasn't change to her part, but it was as close as it was going to get.

ooo

Transparent rods of rain came hammering down and thunder cracked through the sky. They no longer cared for the drought of their clothing or bodies, they were as wet as they could get. All they could hope for now was to reach an inn and escape with less than a cold. They had decided earlier on to stop and set up camp but somewhere around midnight the skies had given birth to water and storm and their tents had betrayed them; unable to keep the downpour from entering their beds and winds from slapping them cold.

They had given up talking about an hour ago, after having to battle against the assaulting weather to pack up camp, so that would have made it about two hours since they had been rudely awaken by mother earth. In estimation it would be about two in the fucking morning now. Too fucking earlier, Gojyo had concluded.

The scatted lights of a village shone through slit water and they would have jumped for joy if they'd the energy. However they all only had enough to remove themselves from Jeep, gather their belongings, shout at the inn keepers, dry off and change. They had barely made it to their beds before drowning in unconsciousness. If anyone was going to take said unconsciousness away from him, before he was ready, they had better be a girl or else they will be, if his shakujou had anything to do with it.

ooo

"Gojyo, Gojyo, wake up" piped Hakkai's gentle voice. "Gojyo!" well it _was _gentle.

"It's too early" he drawled, trying to burry himself deeper into his sheets.

"It's two in the afternoon"

He was going to start nagging soon, he better get up.

"Wake Goku up and head down stairs to the bath house. We'll clean up before lunch, or whatever's left of it"

"Great, give me the hard one" he slung his legs of the bed and his feet landed none too gracefully on the floor boards. Now the only thing left was to reach standing point.

"Well if you'd like to wake Sanzo up, all you had to do was say so"

He hadn't cared to open his eyes yet, they were still far too heavy, but he could hear the smile in that malicious voice; Hakkai was tired too. "For once I actually like the idea of eternal sleep" even saying so he was slowly heading towards Goku's side of the room; since when was three and a half meters so long?

"That can be arranged if you don't take care in waking Goku up. You know how he is in the morning" Hakkai chimed as he left the room.

"Yeah, yeah" He had learnt long ago that Goku was dangerous when he slept. He wasn't, by far, a sensitive sleeper but that didn't mean he wasn't alert. The kid had kicked his ass more times than he'd admit whilst he was resting. It had taken a while to learn the art of waking violent monkeys up but Gojyo had learnt to just pull the blanket off the bed and the animal would follow.

Goku landed face first onto the cold wood, crying out with a little bit more pain than Gojyo had aimed for. He nudged him with his foot, "Get over it and get up. We're taking a bath before we eat, so the faster you get the faster lunch will come"

He didn't wait around for a response as he headed to the door but he could already hear the extra bounce in Goku's foot steps as they headed down. The monkey took the bait, as usual.

ooo

They met at the bath house as planned and had taken to relaxing in their quarter of the house. The warm and organic water slid up their skin as they dipped in. And to think that this was their curse only just yesterday.

"Goku" Hakkai called, "You'd better harry up if you want to reach lunch before tomorrow"

Goku came, "Umm… Hakkai?"

That wasn't Goku. The tone was the same but--

They looked up to meet very distressed golden eyes.

They stared. Well as the following minutes would have it, Usual had just flown out the window and dived into a pool of fucked up.

"What is it, Goku? You don't sound too good, did you catch a cold" Hakkai asked worriedly.

No, they didn't have to worry about a cold.

"No, it's…"

"Just spit it out, already" Gojyo urged. He wanted to get to lunch

"Well…"

"What is it?" And, apparently so did Sanzo.

"Umm…"

Gojyo had enough. "Just get in the bath already, it's not like we haven't seen you naked before" and with that he upped and pulled the boy's ankles, resulting in a disturbance in the water that drenched all of them and had their hair curtaining around their eyes.

Insults started flying from mouth to ears, a gun started shooting and a voice calmed it all down. That was what would usually follow. But no, reality felt like screwing itself over today.

Because in normality's place was a scream. Goku's scream. Goku's loud, high pitched, girly scream.

They mentally took a step back, seeing as their body was grounded in shock. Goku wasn't girly because Goku was a boy. Then they made a note; keyword, 'was'. What Goku was and what he now is were as far from same as opposites could go. For, Goku was now a girl.

His now naked form with hips and breasts confirmed this. His now naked form with hips and breasts was now very hard to stop staring at.

Sanzo didn't like how much effort it had taken to tear his eyes away. And he also didn't like the faint warmth that had casted itself over his cheeks.

ooo

_A/N: Yes, I am on crack; why do you ask? I'm sorry for any grammatical errors there maybe but I was writing this at 12am in the night. I hope you like it -smiles- _

_Reviews, constructive criticism, flames, I'll take anything. _


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